ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
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