ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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