Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
