worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He did a backflip because drugs
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
