the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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