Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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