It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
