forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
