Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
