Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
