I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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