Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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