I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
