People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
