Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
