pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
