At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
