dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
