I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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