saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
