Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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