Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
