idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
