I am puke
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
