I cockslap morals
Duck Duck Cougar?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
