the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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