Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
