none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
