I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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