porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
