Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
