Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
