HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
