"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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