I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
