we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
