i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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