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So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
