I seem to have left my pride at pride
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
