I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
