its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
