This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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