one might say we're banned from that church
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
