i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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