fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
