Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
