During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
