Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
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