Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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