just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
