I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
